all you need is love, love

i have realized just how incredibly hard we can be on ourselves as humans. we dont believe we have the potential to be amazing or spectacular or anything greater than what we are. the worst thing that we can say is that:

"we are only human"

that is further from the truth than we can possibly get. we use it as an excuse to justify not reaching the highest heights and giving up on ourselves. we are children of God. it is so incredibly important to remember that every single day. i, like most people in the world, have been incredibly hard on myself throughout my life. if i am comparing my weaknesses with other people's strengths of course i am going to come out as the loser every time. the problem is, we fail to recognize the wonderful things that we can contribute to the world. positivity is probably what we lack most in this world. we focus on negative negative negative and it is driving me crazy. shouldn't we be treating each other with love and respect? shouldn't we be as (if not more) kind to our families as we are to perfect strangers? our life is meant to be a blessing to others, not a burden, and the longer we fail to recognize that, the worse off this beautiful world that we live in is going to be.

believe in yourself

love yourself

trust yourself

have faith in yourself

and for heaven's sake

be nice to yourself

name them one by one

i feel like listing the things that i am thankful for does not happen enough

it should happen at least once a day i think

sharing the things that you are thankful with other people

creates a feeling that ripples 

and spreads to the whole world 

so here is my drop in the water

things that i am thankful for

the most incredible family on the planet

the best friends i could possibly hope for

incredible roommates that keep me sane

byu-idaho

living in america

clothing

a roof over my head

eyes to see

ears to hear

a mouth to taste with

a nose to smell my grandmothers sunday dinners with

food to eat

the ability to learn

trials

the ability to hope and dream

a healthy body with which i can dance and sing and run etc...

the fact that i am weird

the love of the people i cherish the most

the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

the beauty of the earth around me

the general goodness of people

smiles

the capacity for greater love

technology (specifically the apple kind :)

music

the ability to grow and learn from experiences

the Book of Mormon and the Bible

laughter

communication

holidays

the list could go on and on

with all of the terrible things going on in the world

it is so nice to focus on all of the good sometimes

in fact

we should focus on the good all of the time

dont you think?

there's a fire starting in my heart

 welp

i dont really know how im feeling about life right now

not that i am by any means depressed or anything

just that i have so many different emotions and thoughts just runnin around in my noggin

and its drivin me nuts

i have tried writing them down

but it dont work

gahhhhh

i guess the only thing to do is just see how things go

they will work out for the best

i am sure of it

for now im just gonna clear my mind

and just let life take its course

cause at this point

there aint a whole lot i can do

i go home in less than two weeks

how

bittersweet

i am quite scared right now because of a lack of employment

but

i trust in the Lord 

and i know He will take care of me 

cameron tells me im a genius

i refuse to believe it

maybe ill just tell him this from now on

 

if i had a million dollars...

i would roam this beautiful earth

i am anxious to see the world

i love love love to go places i have never been before

even if it is just the next state over

i want to go

i want to be a world traveler

i want to experience new cultures

i want to just go go go

and learn learn learn

and take pictures

and just breathe fresh unadulterated air

and take in the sights that take that breath away

as much as i love america and the familiarity of home

i want to see how far life can take me away from it

so that i appreciate home that much more

i cannot stress enough how much i truly want to just soar above the oceans

smell the spices of the finest kitchens across the world

see the faces of other cultures

lets just go

now

today

i am a bird

come fly with me

lets fly

lets fly away

Heaven's Fountain

i look forward to the day when i start my own family

not in any way am i saying i would like to do that right this instant

but

when that day comes

i want to be the best

mom

wife

&

friend

that i can possibly be

when the day comes for me to be all of these things

i want to be prepared

spiritually

emotionally

physically

culturally

did i mention spiritually?

in the meantime

i want to see the world

go places i have never seen that shock and awe me

eat food that i never in a million years would have imagined stomaching

and learn all that i possibly can about my wonderful Father in Heaven

there is so much to do

might as well start now

baby it's cold outside

i cannot believe this semester is almost over

holy cow batman

so what will i be doing for the four months of no school?

heck if i know!

it is kind of scary to not know

which state i will be living in

where i will be working

what i will be doing

scary

but 

fun

i feel like an adventure is coming on

if you know me at all

you know that is a pretty exciting thing for me

maybe i will be working at disney in cali or florida

or maybe i will be a nanny in maryland

who knows???

either way i am going to miss the people here in rexburg

and back home

it has been so long since i have seen them all and i feel like working in another state is abandoning them

but i gotta do whats good for me

when will i go back to georgia for good?

i have no idea

that thought kind of saddens me

but it will be good for me to make my own way

live my own life

stay tuned to see where this crazy life takes me

i got a brand new pair of rollerskates you got a brand new key

welp

halloween is done for

and who cares if it aint even thanksgiving yet

im listening to christmas tunes

i cant think of a single better holiday than christmas

it is the bees knees of holidays

the trump tower of holidays

the platinum of all holidays

i mean think about it

what other holiday promotes so much

cheer

celebration

love

selflessness

hope

&

kindness

i could not think of a single one

i am starting a sugar fast today

it will be difficult

i know this because

technically

i started yesterday

i lasted about eight hours tops

i need to do this though

after all of the stuff i justified eating for halloween

a break will do me good

there is a month and a half till i get to go home and see my fantastic family

which means

one month and only twenty-two days till santa comes

hot dang

oh and on a side note

rexburg is freezing

do not be surprised if my toes fall off in a couple of days from frostbite

'specially cause it is only gonna get colder from here

the sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it

.
so life has been 

interesting

lately

so much has changed

the major

the social life

the single life

it has been hard

but i finally feel like i am gonna be

ok

in fact one day i am sure i will look back on this be somewhere i never could have imagined

i have realized how much i learn from experiences

my life has been defined up to this point by the moments in my life that either
did not make any sense at the time
were trying
or difficult


i have this amazing
peace
it is so calming and refreshing
not that i do not wish things could be different
but
i know that they are how they are how they are for a reason
and that is something i have to accept

i am happy again
that is what is important

oh how life is sweet

it has been way too long since i have written

so much has happened

i started classes

i was expecting it to be all easy and stuff to dance every morning

but no

it is so easy to get burned out

but i can do it

i will keep my head up

i will be positive

i will work my tail off

i have the best roommates on the planet

jacquie

kara

felicia

miranda

emily

they are so incredibly great

and we are constantly laughing

i have a boyfriend

his name is evan

he is pretty much amazing

he is a ginger 

he makes me smile

i love spending time with him

and we have so so so much fun together

i am so happy

i have so many things to be thankful for in my life

a smile is not difficult to come by these days

i love my life

the view from heaven

grandpa

i love you so much

you will be so missed

i wish i could have been there to say goodbye

but growing up takes people away from the moments like this

i know that you are finally released from the pain that has been ailing you for so long

that makes this easier

and i know

that i will see you again

and you are in a place that is so wonderful its beyond the imagination

please watch over me and make sure i do not get into trouble

and one day i will hear that good ol southern drawl again

i love you

this is not goodbye

this is

i will see you later

turn and face the strange

ch ch changes

so

yes

i did change my blog again

but

i am still not happy with it

do not get comfortable

as much as i love yellow

i just could not take it anymore

it was driving me crazy

the search is on for an amazing background

stay tuned

*******

i feel way sick right now

i hate it with a fiery passion

stupid head cold

it was certainly nice to sit in bed all day though

just relax

watch random old reese witherspoon movies

drink hot apple cinnamon tea

and just do nothing

i love pajamas

maybe i just needed a break from working out all week

*******

i love the smell of the first drops of rain hitting the pavement

i love the look of utter and complete adoration that a husband gives his wife

i love hearing just the men sing at church

i love the sunlight coming up over the horizon

i love hearing a baby laugh

i love the rustling of leaves in the cool breeze

i love intertwining my fingers with someone else's

i love the smell of flowers as i walk by

i love laying in the green grass

i love sand on my feet

i love those first few moments as i step onto a dark stage to dance

i love being able to accomplish my dreams

i love fresh sheets on a bed

i love reading a book before i go to sleep

i love a fresh coat of polish on my toenails

i love laying in crisp warm laundry

i love when the radio plays all of my favorite songs

i love a new blister after a long day of dancing

i love sunday afternoon walks

i love picking out shapes in the clouds

i love that first sip of ice cold water

i love the clap of thunder after an intense lightning bolt

i love seeing a friendly face after a long hard day

i love quotes that inspire me

i love life

hallelujah

so i know i have been a complete slacker when it comes to writing lately

but what have i not been a slacker at??

life

i have a job

i have worked out every single day this week

shout out to my girl kate

i am officially addicted

to working out

not drugs

    

i can not wait to see some results

goal

lose 15 pounds by the beginning of fall semester

hey body

guess what

its so on

*******

summer in the sexy rexy is turning out to not be nearly as lame as originally expected

thank goodness

i think i would be going just about crazy right now

i am quite enjoying myself at the moment

it is so incredibly nice to not have any homework or classes to worry about

just

music

dancing

work

&

workin out

yep

life is just dandy and i am diggin it

*******

i am gonna be 21 in less than a month

wow

i can not believe another year has gone by

i will be spending my b-day with my bestie and my brother

i can not freaking wait to see them

it will be quite a splendid occasion

********

favorite song right now:

i like the mike medved version better but this is all i could find